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Based on the confusion and animosity surrounding the recent attempt at a presidential election, we, the Royal House of Chimeron, have come to the inescapable conclusion that democracy is a failure. We hereby offer you a far more sensible and efficient system of governance - MONARCHY. In fact, we are willing to make the supreme sacrifice by offering our own sovereign as your new leader...
Ladies and Gentlemen (well, at least you have the opportunity to be one or the other under a monarchy, unlike a democracy, where no one is allowed to be noble)
I hereby introduce to you Her Most Supreme Majesty Queen Marguerite the First of America!

Of course, a few things will have to change around here, now that Queen Meg is in charge.

IRS agents will henceforth be referred to as "Netherforms". You can kill them... with sharp pointy objects.

Lawyers will be known as "Goblins". You can kill them, too. Except the good ones. But since it's very hard to tell a good one from a bad one, it's safest to kill them all first, then decide whether or not they are good ones.

Guns are forbidden. Swords are encouraged. Spandex is HEAVILY encouraged, especially on the more attractive members of the male half of the species.

More suggestions for changes under the new regime should be submitted to Her Majesty at the White Palace (no more of this House stuff, how bourgeois)

Long live the Queen!

Lady Cassia of the Royal House of Chimeron